You might think I have the wrong title but I'm not going to talk about the holiday. Grandma Kern used to say that the kids in junior high looked like Halloween. That is the time when childen begin to experiment with growing up. I remember one junior high aged daughter who used an excessive amount of black make-up. I talked and talked but could not get her to change her ways. Finally, I stood beside her in front of the mirror and did everything to my face that she did to hers. When we were finished, she could see the result. I looked like a "lady of the evening", very different than she was used to seeing me. She didn't say a word but after that, she changed her ways and it was never an issue again
About this time I wrote her a one-page letter about this or some other issue. Besides telling her how much I loved her, I used all the junior high lingo I knew of, like B.F.F.(Best Friends Forever) and others. She knew I wasn't hip like a Jr. High student but she also knew I loved her and was willing to step into her world.
Another daughter, when she approached that age, was leaving the house. I reminded her of something she should remember. Some familiar "Momism" like, "Remember who you are." She replied, " Yeah, mom, I know. I know everything." Immediately she caught herself and recognized the ridiculousness of her statement.
WHAT I HAVE LEARNED: Children need to know that you love them and will self-monitor to learn what you have taught them, if you will let them.